Setting Down The Clipboard

A few years ago, a lady who attended our church would always engage me in conversation. She had a very sweet demeanor and would always ask about my family: my parents, siblings, nephews with special needs. She seemed to always remember what was going on in their lives.

She thought about children’s ministry often and would want to volunteer, but it never seemed to work out. She brought in donations here and there, and one particular Sunday brought me three cans of infant formula. I passed them on as I could, but one remaining can sat in my office with a handwritten note from her on top.

Then one day I got an e-mail saying she had a stroke. Within a week she passed away. For a long time I couldn’t bring myself to throw away the expired can of formula.

It seemed like every time this woman wanted to engage me in conversation, it was—in my mind—the worst possible time. I had things to do; I had kids to take care of; I had classrooms to get ready. And for some reason, I always had this thought in the back of my head when talking to her: I have things to do. I could be doing something else, something more important.

I don’t actually use a clipboard on a regular basis. I’m not sure if you do, but whether it is a clipboard, a to-do list, or a smartphone with calendar reminders, some sort of agenda gets us leaders through each day. Being a task-oriented person, you will rarely find “casually talking with a church member” written on my to-do list.

This is the reality for many of us task-oriented leaders. Having a to-do list to tackle can, at times, seem more important than listening to someone. Accomplishing our agenda for the day can trump investing in another’s life. We struggle with sticking to our schedules and our time tables and forget about connecting with the very people we are called to serve.

As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!”

The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!”

Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.

“Lord,” they answered, “we want our sight.”

Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him (Matthew 20:29–34, emphasis mine).

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly (Luke 19:1–6, emphasis mine).

This is my prayer for myself and for each one of us. That we, like Jesus, would stop. That we would look up from our clipboards, to-do lists, and phones to really see others as Christ sees them.

That can of expired formula sat in my office for many months. It served as a gentle, daily reminder for me to see others as Jesus sees them: deeply loved, deeply valued, and deeply worthy of being seen.

Breaking Up With Your Curriculum: When It's Time to Call It Quits

Our church began to pray and dream about what God may have for us regarding the future of children’s ministry. We were feeling tension in a few areas, and it seemed as though evaluating our curriculum was a good place to start. As we compared our current curriculum with three recommended options, it was evident that a change was on the horizon. When weighing the contributing factors, three emerged as pivotal to our decision to make a change:

It’s Not You, It’s Me 
This could mean a number of things. In our case, there were three senior pastor transitions (including an interim), an exodus of young families from the church, and an influx of new families with new needs coming into the church—all within a three-year period! Our children’s ministry dropped from about 60 kids to around 35. The size, scope, vision, and direction of our senior leadership changed. We were looking for something different. We needed a curriculum that introduced the possibility of multi-generational discipleship. It wasn’t anything our previous curriculum did wrong, it was simply that our needs as a church had changed.

Action step: Assess the current needs of your church. Has anything changed that would necessitate a change in curriculum?

My Friends and Family Don’t Approve 
Curriculum is a resource for teachers and parents. If it no longer serves their needs or assists them in their ministries, it’s time to “put it out to pasture.” Our teachers were sorting through 50 pages of material to teach from 4 pages. The digital curriculum was taking three times as long for our volunteers to download and print; and a printed curriculum wasn’t an option. The take-home pages were frustrating our parents each week. They practically had to bring another bag to carry home their child’s classwork!

Action step: Take the time to listen to your teachers and parents. Is the curriculum still serving its intended purpose as a useful, time saving tool?

The God Card 
As children’s leaders, our personal relationship with Christ is key to our ability to lead. By keeping our eyes focused on Him, our ears attuned to His voice, and our hearts open to His instruction, we place ourselves in a posture to move as He leads. In our case, I sensed God calling us to something more. I felt a deep desire for kids to know His story. I wanted them to see evidence of Jesus throughout the pages of the Bible and to be able to identify not only people who God used to write His story but also how they fit into Christ’s redemptive work. I yearned for our young families to grow in their knowledge of God’s big story and, as a family, become part of His plan and help complete the Great Commission. This was the call God placed on my heart, and our current curriculum wasn’t the best fit for accomplishing it.

Action step: Prayerfully ask yourself—and the Father—if you, as a leader, are keeping your eyes focused on Christ, your ears attuned to His voice, and your heart open to His guidance for you and your church family.


As we began evaluating the new curriculums offered, one in particular stood out as a good fit for our church. Not only did it help resolve the tension we were feeling as leaders, but it also aligned well with the mission, beliefs, and purpose of cmalliancekids. While it was hard to say goodbye to our old curriculum—which had served us well in years past—we as teachers, parents, and church leaders shared a fresh excitement about where God was taking us and how this new curriculum could help get us there. It took time and intentionality to make the shift, but we are moving forward and following God’s leading into this new partnership!

Kingdom Builders

The first Sunday of the New Year I was excited to connect with kids and parents who had been out of town over the holidays. As I stood in the church hallway that morning, a mom approached me.

“I forgot to tell you with all the craziness of the holidays that a couple weeks ago Jeremiah asked Jesus into his heart,” the mom said to me.

“He did? Awesome!” I replied.

 “Actually, it was very much at the urging of his big sister here,” she said, as her eight-year-old daughter Allyson looked up at me. “Yes, she was very concerned about him going to ‘the hell’ as she calls it.”

“Well, it’s true,” Allyson chimed in. “What if he died in a fire or something?”

The mom went on to explain to me that over a couple weeks her children had many lengthy conversations in which Allyson explained to Jeremiah the gospel.

 

Our Greatest Need

Each Sunday in December, we at Perrysburg (Ohio) Alliance Church studied compassion in our elementary class. We learned that God fulfilled our greatest need by sending His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. We then challenged one another to share this good news with others.

Allyson did exactly that by sharing the salvation message with her younger brother. She shared God’s desire that none would perish but all would come to know Him (John 3:16).

After making Jesus Lord of his life, Jeremiah wanted to share the good news too. As he attended karate class that day, he told his karate instructor he had asked Jesus into his heart. Her response? “Oh. Okay.”

“Mom, do you think she has Jesus in her heart?” Jeremiah asked as they left class.

His mom sweetly replied, “Well, Jer, based on her response, I would say probably not.”

“I should tell her about Jesus,” Jeremiah stated.

God is able and willing to use His children to reach the world. May the Alliance family never forget it, and may we walk in that truth today and every day as we serve His little ones.

When The Christmas and Easter Crowd Show Up

Christmas is an exciting time in Children’s Ministry. Most likely, as a volunteer or as a leader, you are preparing for a children’s program, a special Christmas song, a Happy Birthday Jesus party or some other way of celebrating with your kids. You want kids to be excited about the birth of Jesus and to fully embrace the true meaning of Christmas. You want them to focus not on the presents, but on who Christ is and what His birth means for all of us. So, as leaders, we prepare and we anticipate and we make sure we are doing everything we can to get “our” kids excited about the true meaning of Christmas! We spend the entire year pouring into these kids, teaching them about who Jesus is, and getting to celebrate with them is just the icing on the cake!

And then it happens. Just like it does every year. Christmas and Easter families show up. You know, the ones who only make it to church twice a year or any time they may need an electric bill paid.
If you’re anything like me, you find yourself feeling frustrated. Frustrated their parents don’t see the importance of year-long engagement in Bible learning. Frustrated with their lack of commitment to the church body. Frustrated they will receive a family gift and get to celebrate just like the families who are here all year long do.

It’s in this moment in my thinking pattern that I step back for a minute, take a deep breath, and repent. Because what I’m really saying is this: I’m frustrated with grace. In my sin nature and in my humanness, I want it to be fair. But here’s the thing about grace: fair isn’t part of the equation. What I myself have been given from my Father in heaven, I do not deserve. I have done nothing and will do nothing that will somehow credit what He has done for me. How can I justify being stingy with grace? When did I earn the right to choose who receives grace and who doesn’t? The truth is I never did, and I never will.

“Out of His fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” John 1:16

And from this verse, this is what I have determined:
Because of who He is and what He has done for me, I can continue to extend grace in place of grace already given to others.

So what are we to do when our Christmas and Easter families show up? Here are a few ideas:

1. Be Thankful.
Think about it: out of all the places they could choose to go around the holiday season, they chose your church. Whether it’s the love and grace you have extended as a church in the past, the quality of the children’s classes and teachers, or the love shown by your pastor, whatever the reason, they came back to your church. The love of Christ is being shown and your church is a light for Him. That is what every church should desire to be! Be thankful for their presence, and be thankful that your church family is known by their love for others.

2. Extend Grace.
When the children may not follow the rules, extend grace. When the children play the musical instruments a little too loud or talk out of turn a little too often, extend grace. A good reminder for me is this: I may be the only Jesus follower this child meets this year. If that’s the case, am I loving like Jesus would? Am I extending grace like Jesus would? Show them who Jesus is by being the best representation of Him. And when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope, continue to extend grace. Because that is what we have been asked to do, and because that is what we are capable of doing because of what He has done for us.

3. Pray.
Pray for the children. Pray for their family. Pray for your attitude. Keep them on your prayer list all year long. Prayer is the primary work of God’s people. If we can do nothing else the entire year we don’t see them, we can pray for them. And that, my friends, is powerful.

Please join me this Christmas season in being thankful, extending grace, and praying for all of our families, especially our Christmas and Easter ones. Together, let’s be the Light that God has called us to be in this dark world, and let’s be faithful to the calling He has given each one of us to love others as He has loved us.

On Children and Mommas.

To the momma in the waiting room,

I want you to know that I noticed you. Not because your child was screaming. Not because you happened to be in the waiting room of a psychologist's office. I noticed you long before your child began to act out.

I heard you from my office, reading to him with inflection and excitement in your voice. I heard you encouraging him as he made his way to the bathroom. I heard you speaking with the doctor, tenderly, about your older child. I heard you long before I heard your son.

And when I did hear him, I heard you speaking tenderly to him. I heard you assuring him you would be back and he could play some more another day. I heard you encourage your other children to stay calm and quiet as you were walking out, trying to restrain your youngest.

And as I watched from my office window, you, barely being able to hang on to your flailing child and making it to your van as quickly as possible- my heart broke for you. Because I realized that you are probably barely hanging on to life yourself, and moments such as these probably make you doubt every thing you ever thought about yourself as a mom. So here is what I want you to hear today:

1. Not only did I hear you, God hears you.
Yes, it's true. 

2. You are a good mom.

3. You can do hard things.

Be strong, momma. You are seen. You are loved. You can do hard things.

Who Told You?

An Open Letter To Anyone Who Has Ever Struggled with Self-Esteem:

I have a friend. I know all stories begin that way, but really, it's true. She is absolutely beautiful. She is a beautiful mother, a loving and faithful wife, and a child of God. She has a servant's heart, and her friends admire, respect, and appreciate her. 

What people don't know is that she struggles. 

She struggles to believe she is a good mom. She reads blogs and sees pictures of moms on Pinterest and Facebook that do more craft projects with their kids than Martha Stewart, and she struggles to believe she is good enough- creative enough, smart enough, there enough- for her kids.

She struggles to believe she is beautiful. Her nose is a little bit crooked, her ears a little big, her legs a little long and chicken-like, and her hair a little limp. She struggles to believe she is beautiful enough- stomach flat enough, hair long enough, teeth straight enough - for her husband.

She knows she is a child of God because she has been told so many times before. She knows He loves her unconditionally. She knows there is nothing she can or cannot do to change His love for her. 

Yet she struggles. 

It starts long before we ever realize it. Those thoughts of being creative or smart enough? It didn't take Pinterest or Facebook or even being a mom for her to realize she struggles believing she possesses those traits- it started in the 4th grade when a cute boy in class called her "stupid" or her mom threw away her art project because it wasn't creative enough to hang on the fridge. Beautiful enough? It didn't take her husband or even her first boyfriend for her to realize she struggles believing she's beautiful- it started when she was six and another little girl made fun of her big ears.

These voices inside her head are nothing new. They are real, and they have been there for a long time. Voices that told her she wasn't creative enough, smart enough, beautiful enough.

There is a passage in the Bible that many people would say shows God's anger. It's in Genesis 3, right after Adam and Eve decide to take the plunge and eat from the tree of of the knowledge of good and evil. After they ate the fruit, they heard God walking in the garden and hid. God called to them and asked where they were. They said they were afraid because they were naked, so they hid. 

God then asked them, "Who told you that you were naked?"

Many people believe He was asking it out of anger, but I disagree. I believe His heart was breaking.

Who told you...? 

Who told you...
...you weren't beautiful enough?
...you weren't smart enough?
...you weren't creative enough?
...you weren't good enough?

You are my child! You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:13-15). I see you, I hear you, and I am concerned (Woman at the Well in John 4; Exodus 3:7). I have a plan, and it's a good one (Jeremiah 29:11). My ways are perfect, and I will work everything out for good according to MY perfect will (Romans 8:28). I am mighty to save,  and I rejoice over you with singing! (Zephaniah 3) I am close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and I am the God of all comfort (2 Cor. 1).


Where I truly believe we see God's character is in verse 21. I've missed this a few times. 

"The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Genesis 3:21

Can you imagine? The God of the universe, sewing together clothes to cover you. Clothes to cover your shame. Clothes to cover your nakedness. Clothes to cover your inadequacies.  

Clothes to cover your not good enoughs. 

HE IS ENOUGH.

He loves us with a perfect love- and it is deep and it is wide and it is more than we can even fathom (Ephesians 3:16-19). Our names are written on the palm of His hand, and before we were even born, He spoke our name (Isaiah 49).  

I am enough because He is enough. Period. My validation comes from Him and Him alone.  

So the next time you go to believe some of those voices- no matter how long they have been there- forget who told you and forget what they had to say. There is only one voice that matters, and only One you will answer to on that final day. 

I want to hear that voice say well done. How about you?

In Honor of One Year.

September 24th marked my one year anniversary at my new job. The job I acquired also happened to involve switching churches.

This past summer, as I was gearing up to attend one of my first all-church ladies event, the women's ministry leader and a new friend of mine said, "Are you coming? It is SO much fun. And I mean like real fun, not church fun!" I immediately told her I was. Honestly, I had already planned on going, but I wanted to make her think that it was that factor alone that made my decision. To be honest, I had no idea what she meant! Here are some of the questions that were running through my head at that moment:

1. What IS church fun?
Honestly, I grew up in the church. The only fun I think I knew how to have was church fun. What kind of event is NOT church fun but real fun? Have I even experienced real fun?

2. What does real fun entail?
Read: Are we going to be sinning?

3. Are we all going to be experiencing real fun?
I knew some older ladies in the church who had already signed up. Did they know this was going to happen? Are they going to be participating? Have I completely missed something here?

4. Is the pastor's wife coming?
I immediately had to look for her name on the sign-up sheet. If she was coming, well, I just was at a complete loss of what to expect.

5. Can I still bring my fruit salsa?

As you can see, I had many questions. I was curious. When the day came, I was ready. I might have even woken up early (pry not.) I was ready to go and have myself some real fun.

Turns out, real fun wasn't too much different from all the other fun I have had in my life. We took boat rides, sat in the sun, rode the jet ski, floated out on the lake, played some fun games, had a few adventures, and ate a ton of good food. Yep, pretty much what my weekends look like every summer, but needless to say- the mystery was solved, and I was pretty glad I hadn't been missing out all these years.

I was thankful for a day in the sun, getting to know part of my church family better and on a different level than Sunday morning small talk. I am thankful to be a part of this new family and am looking forward to experiencing more "real fun" with them all! :)